


Elegy of the Pining Heart

by capricious_Bastard



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: And Rikka, Hard to say anything without giving anything away www, M/M, Shiki - Freeform, it's more of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 11:30:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17527910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capricious_Bastard/pseuds/capricious_Bastard
Summary: Title was given byAkilest_Heel





	Elegy of the Pining Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Title was given by [Akilest_Heel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akilest_Heel/pseuds/Akilest_Heel)

Joyful smiles were scattered. Laughter, congratulations, chatter were all he could see and hear from the small number of people standing and walking about wearing fancy dresses with their hair tied up into something stylish and clean suits with slicked-back hair. He gulped, loosening and clenching his fist, witnessing all of this feels like he’s being suffocated; his air slowly being sucked out of his body as he tries so much to gather and gain his normal breathing.

He shifts his gaze around, purple hues trailing behind a pink haired male wearing a big, bright smile clad in nothing but white with pink accents, and he thinks to himself how beautiful Rikka looks, how the whiteness of his clothes makes him glow even more, how the light pink accents in his clothes makes his hair and eyes pop out more; Rikka looks so beautiful, gorgeous—the purity that Rikka simply exudes is overflowing and it makes everyone in his vicinity smile with actual happiness that even he can’t resist to smile whenever he sees or hears Rikka.

Shiki clears his throat, downing the glass of champagne in his hand, the taste dry then smooth as it slid down his throat before placing the glass down on the table beside him.

“Shiki” that warm, gentle voice called out to him, pink irises shining as their eyes met, “I’m sorry if you had to hurry through your work for this.” Rikka softly speaks out, looking up at him, his cheeks blushing with a shade of pink. It seems like this day is nothing but filled with pink.

Shiki gulps once again, unable to move his gaze away from how beautiful and glowing Rikka is right now; his chest clenches in on itself as he spots the man clad in the same white clothes as Rikka is, and again, Shiki is reminded of his own cowardice and ignorance to his own feelings for the former model. He lets his lips curve up into a small smile when his gaze turns back to Rikka, looking at him with big bright eyes.

He realized that what he thought to be nothing but mere friendship was, in fact, his love for Rikka. Shiki couldn’t wrap his head around it, he thought about it for a long time when he finally got his composure, though, it was little too late and now he can’t help but drown himself in regret and wallow in disappointment for not having done something much earlier. Instead, someone had managed to sweep Rikka off and away from his reach.

“Thank you again for coming all this way, Takamura-san.” The man smiled at him, toothy and carefree as he wrapped his arm around Rikka’s waist- his chest clenches in ache again, forcing him to take in a deep inhale in order to keep his composure, in order to not flare up at a man who, probably did nothing wrong. He had no reason to be mad at Rikka’s significant other, after all, it was his inability to move that threw his chance away—if he even had a chance to begin with.

“It’s not a big deal. Rikka’s an important person to me, after all.” He simply says as he glances down at Rikka’s direction, their gazes meeting for the umpteenth time today, and he hopes that Rikka didn’t see his true emotions, he wishes that he’s the one standing beside Rikka; wishes that he’s the one who proposed; wishes that he’s the one making Rikka smile so brightly and gorgeously.

Rikka places a hand on the man’s chest, gently, tenderly- achingly, it made Shiki want to grab Rikka and take him far away from here. Maybe they could elope, but he couldn’t move, he didn’t have the heart to tear Rikka’s special day into pieces.

He lets his lips curl but only because seeing the pink haired male smile so lovingly makes him feel giddy and warm inside; he refuses to fully look at Rikka’s new husband squarely in the eyes- it’s not that he can’t, it’s that he might actually take Rikka and run away from here if he does, maybe.

How did he get here, why is he doing this?

Shiki glances to the long, white clothed table to the side and remembers that all of this is for Rikka and nobody else. He smiles, small and faint at Rikka and he returns the smile with just as much joy and love that Shiki is so familiar with, the smile that he thought was just for him, and it makes him want to scream in pain and ache.

He gulps and quietly clears his throat before leaning towards the microphone in order to start his speech as the ‘special guest’ for the reception.

He didn’t prepare anything because he figured that he could just make one on the spot but that’s proving to be a bit difficult for some reason. His throat is dry and constricting, it’s making it harder for him to actually breathe. Shiki blinks, eyes the crowd watching him, shifts his gaze back to where Rikka is and he can see the love reflected in those brightly lit hues.

Suddenly, he thought of what he wants to say. He inhales, and like writing a song, the words flow out of his mouth without a second thought.

“First of all, I want to congratulate Rikka and Tomori for their successful wedding”, clapping ensues before dying down shortly, “Honestly, I didn’t prepare a speech for this even though I clearly should have but I wanted everything that I plan to say to be from the bottom of my heart.” He moves his gaze from the crowd back at Rikka, tilting his head ever so slightly to keep his gaze there- to where his love is, “Rikka, you are the most important person in my life and I don’t know how else I could express that clearly where you’ll be able to see it and feel it. You are the light that shone through my darkest hours, you were there for me when I needed you the most, you were always by my side, smiling, laughing, you were always there for me, helping me. You look up at me with those wide pink eyes of yours and I’m reminded, every single day of me being alive, of how much I wish you happiness, of how much I want to see you smiling with everything that you are. The purity in your eyes, the warmth of your touch, the sound of your voice will always be in my memories”, Shiki takes a deep breath, clenches his fists close, he glances to Tomori before speaking again, “As your friend, I want you to be happy.”

“I want you to be happy, and seeing you happy right now, being with Tomori” he hoped that nobody noticed how he paused for a short moment there when saying that man’s name along with just how much he’d poured his feelings out, “I can’t help but feel happy too. Rikka, you will and always will be important to me, and I want you to know that I will do anything in my power to be able to keep seeing your bright smiles, bright eyes; to feel your loving heart, to sense your tenderness, to hear your passion for everything that you love and care for.” Shiki blinked, and gulped as the people looked at him in a mixture of doubt, suspicion, and he can’t help but feel butterflies in his stomach that makes him nauseous because he can't determine if it's for happiness or anxiety, noticing how Rikka’s tears is streaking down his cheeks and he smiles, Rikka doing the same when their eyes met again, “Congratulations on getting married, Rikka.” He nods his head at Tomori’s direction, “I hope you understand how lucky you are to have Rikka by your side, Tomori.”

“I do, Takamura-san.” Tomori replied, the smile he once held gone for a moment as Shiki finally looked him in the eye. A shiver runs down his spine and he realizes, in the back of his mind, that Tomori knows. He feels guilty yet he doesn’t really, not completely. But Tomori smiles at him again, so he pretends that the silent but watchful gaze that Tomori gives him isn’t real, isn’t part of the reality that Rikka’s married to someone else.

Rikka stood up, running up to Shiki for a hug, nearly tackling him in the process. Shiki took a step back to be able to support them properly, hugging Rikka back then squeezed in return, drowning himself in Rikka’s warmth and touch.

His heart clenches, however he acts as if he doesn’t feel it; he numbs it out.

“Thank you, Shiki.” Rikka sniffed, “Thank you.” He pulled away, giving a quick peck to Shiki’s cheek before beaming up at him, “That was beautiful, Shiki.” Rikka praised and Shiki realized that the kiss was nothing but a thankful, friendly kiss and nothing more; again, his heart aches with skipping beats that drummed against his ears as he gulps down the large lump in his throat.

“Hm. I’m glad you liked it.”

 

~

 

Shiki closed the door behind him, stepping out of his shoes and slumping down onto his couch with a silent huff of breath leaving his system. He stares up at the ceiling as he loosens his tie and lets his arm drop by his side once he was done.

“Rikka…” He whispers out, the stabbing throb in his heart spreading and growing bigger. He moves, rests his elbows on his knees as he stares down at nothing in particular, bathing himself in the pain.

He closes his eyes, teeth gritting together and his lips pursed into a line.

He could have done something different, he could have made a move and everything would be different, he could have said everything different and this wouldn’t have happened at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember if I've published this before but deleted it because I was unsatisfied with it, but here it is now. 
> 
> If it feels off, it's because I'm not in the right head-space so, to me, it feels detached and somewhat lacking, but for now-happy birthday, Shiki.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated, thank you for reading.


End file.
